From Normalcy to Convenience
"Sweet Child O' Mine - by SSH on flickr"
From my experience, this is such a taboo subject but it’s a very important subject to me that I am passionate about.
I came across a great article on co-sleeping today. I posted it in a few of my online places I visited. While expected, I received a few negative reactions. Most were very positive experiences with co-sleeping. Mine included. But it got me to thinking, when did something that was considered normal become so wrong?
Many things that were once considered normal and now replaced with an alternative that gives the illusion of convenience. Especially when it comes to child rearing. For thousands of years, women breastfed their children (and extended, not just for a few weeks), cloth diapered babies, wore their babies in slings and wraps, co-slept and had natural vaginal births. Now, the mainstream society gives formula, feeds solids at 3-4 months, uses disposable diapers, lets babies cry it out and does what they can not to hold them close, put them away in a crib every night and chooses to have elective inductions and c-sections. When you look at a lot of these alternatives to what was once considered normal, it seems as if that was sacrificed for the sake of convenience.
While I don’t agree with a lot of the alternatives, I do recognize when some of those are needed. I know there are times when there are true issues that cause babies to have to be put on formula. But those are rare. So many “try” breastfeeding and then give up (usually at 2-4 weeks during baby’s first growth spurt when they are nursing non-stop) and resort to formula because it’s easier. this society has made breast to be sexual and make it gross to breastfeed your baby. What can be better than food made specifically for your baby? Not something made in a lab and full of sugars and empty calories. Let alone the awesome bonding experience. I have definitely seen the benefits that it has given my daughter compared to my boys.
I also recognize there are true needs for c-sections and inductions. However I think they tend to be rushed. They tend to be used as an easy way out. “failure to progress” is a term constantly thrown around that is usually misdiagnosed. Some of these “ftp” diagnoses could have been resolved with changing positions, not being tied down to a bed or just letting the mother labor naturally without all these stressful interventions. Most women I think if left alone, would instinctively know what to do. If they just listened to their bodies. I’ve read and heard many stories of people getting a c-section because their baby is “too big” only to find out that they were grossly off on the size. I’ve also read of women (some pretty small at that) delivering 10-11lb babies. I think our bodies were meant to birth kids and to provide them with nutrition. Too often we doubt our bodies.
It seems in this society, we’re straying too far away from our kids. “Don’t hold them, you’ll spoil them”, “Don’t let them stay in your bed, they’ll never leave”, “Don’t rush to them when they are crying, you’ll spoil them”. Babies know nothing. They need their parents. Why push them away when they know nothing but that warm comforting womb that they were taken away from. In my experience so far with my daughter, I have done things differently than with the boys. I have found that breastfeeding her until 13 months (would have been longer if not for issues with the pregnancy) did nothing but reap good benefits. She never had issues with weaning either. As far as co-sleeping, we never had problems with her transitioning to her crib at 8 months part -time and 10 months full time. I feel doing these things, the way they were meant to be done has made our bond with her stronger.
But the main point to this post was why do we sacrifice the benefits of normalcy to convenience? What’s so wrong with loving your child? What did every woman for thousands of years do wrong that changed people’s mind? They didn’t consider alternatives. They knew what was to be done and they did it. Just like animals have maternal instincts, so do humans. Why do we need all these interventions?
Lovely post and all very true!
I think the “age of convenience” started when mothers started going out of the home to work. Pulling mothers out of their natural setting of homemaking and child rearing made so many of our natural tendencies obsolete because there simply wasn't enough hours in the day. Children have been sacrificed for “women's lib” so to speak. Many child “experts” and pediatricians have adopted new rules, in most part, so that women won't feel guilty about putting a baby to bed or bottlefeeding. It's just become a cultural norm over time…beginning with my grandmother's generation.
These days women schedule their inductions like they schedule their nail appointments! No wonder there are so many c-sections!
Today's generation is a generation of convenience. No one wants to be bothered or put out….especially by children, right? We're a very selfish and self centered culture.
We've brought it on ourselves…..may God have mercy on us!
Jodi
I agree with Jodi about the “age of convenience” thing.
I also know of someone who had a c-section after having 4 previously successful vaginal births because she was told her baby was “too big” but was in fact smaller than one of her other children. I think so many of these doctors should make women go through labor unless it is truly harmful to the mother. I think doctors see c-sections as less risky and time-consuming than these long, drawn out vaginal births. Most doctors don't even arrive until it's time to deliver the baby and even miss the birth altogether! I do think women need to realize that we've been having babies since the dawn of time and our bodies are made to withstand the whole birthing process.
I very much agree! I wish things could go back to the way they were meant to be. One day they will! Thanks for reading and commenting
If you aren't working when she comes, you should be my doula 
Yes! They don't tell them that ultrasounds can be off by a pound either way. My last one with Avalea said 7lbs 1oz, she came out 6.2. I think Drs nowadays just want to hurry up and get you out. And I really think just laying in the bed doesn't help in the least bit. I'm really hoping that I am able to get up and move around and let my body work for me the way it's supposed to. I'm really excited about this experience!
I agree with Jodi about the “age of convenience” thing.
I also know of someone who had a c-section after having 4 previously successful vaginal births because she was told her baby was “too big” but was in fact smaller than one of her other children. I think so many of these doctors should make women go through labor unless it is truly harmful to the mother. I think doctors see c-sections as less risky and time-consuming than these long, drawn out vaginal births. Most doctors don't even arrive until it's time to deliver the baby and even miss the birth altogether! I do think women need to realize that we've been having babies since the dawn of time and our bodies are made to withstand the whole birthing process.
I very much agree! I wish things could go back to the way they were meant to be. One day they will! Thanks for reading and commenting
If you aren't working when she comes, you should be my doula 
Yes! They don't tell them that ultrasounds can be off by a pound either way. My last one with Avalea said 7lbs 1oz, she came out 6.2. I think Drs nowadays just want to hurry up and get you out. And I really think just laying in the bed doesn't help in the least bit. I'm really hoping that I am able to get up and move around and let my body work for me the way it's supposed to. I'm really excited about this experience!